¡Así lo digo! Level 2

This is hard

Make me wanna throw a kid

Made my grandma alive again and my dad made me a milkshake after 10years

It’s useless and mad boring

This app cured my cancer

So forth, the natural philosopher called to his grandson, Mortmier, "come forth, and grasp the cucumber vegetable on mine workbench" Young Mortimer responded to his grandfather "This better not be one of your devious schemes in order to play a practical joke on me, grandfather" the natural philosopher said to his grandson "i do not jest, Mortimer" Mortimer cautiously approached the workbench, hand out, ready to grasp the green cucumber layed out so Mortimer flipped the pickle over The pickle exclaimed so: "I have transmuted myself into a pickle Mortimer! It is I, Pickled Richard!" Mortimer, the grandson, was not so amused Pickled Richard inquired to his grandson "Are you not impressed by my talents in natural philosophy?" Mortimer, deeply disappointed in his brilliant Grandfather, responded "No" Pickled Richard ceased speaking, as he had realized, his grandson Mortimer thought of such experience to be quite colloquial, as opposed to his own feelings.

I used this app once and know I’m a teacher

Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on. But that's even worse. The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16, and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in question was alerted to the rogue employee. At least, I hope he's rogue. How did it happen? Well, the BK employee hadn't removed the Exif data from the uploaded photo, which suggested the culprit was somewhere in Mayfleld Heights, Ohio. This was at 11:47. Three minutes later at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted with wishes of happy unemployment. 5 minutes later, the news station was contacted by another 4channer. And three minutes later, at 11:58, a link was posted: BK's "Tell us about us" online forum. The foot photo, otherwise known as exhibit A, was attached. Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the BK in question the next day. When questioned, the breakfast shift manager said "Oh, I know who that is. He's getting fired." Mystery solved, by 4chan. Now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.

This is more depressing than Obama’s immigration policy.

*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, AWOOGA AWOOGA sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.