Must Have App - Cured My Cancer
This app has worked miracles in every aspect of my once-miserable life. As a hairy, laughed-at, friendless twerp, I acquired stage 5 pancreatic cancer. After weeks of intense chemotherapy, with little to no progress, I was informed that I did not have long left to live. I was hopeless. I had so much left to live for. I was one of the worlds most talented didgeridooists, about to go big and become world famous. But now, I helplessly watched the world fall down around me. On the last straw, with mere seconds left to live, one of the nurses, Dr. J. Lincoln Dalley, god bless, recommended this very razor app. This app cured my cancer. Shaving my head allowed the cancer cells to peacefully leave my body on a vacation to the Bahamas. Not only that, I was now hairless and sexy. I became the most popular didgeridooist in the country, and was forever free of cancer. Download this app if you want to have a good life.
