Stuy Schedule

This app is frankly the greatest technological achievement in human history since the moon landing. Perhaps an even greater achievement. In all honesty, this is the epitome of human advancement. If everyone downloaded this the worlds problems would melt away. Forget the ISS. This should be the universal symbol of the space age. Easily worth the 6.83 Trillion dollar investment that went into programming it a thousand times over.

it slayed so hard

FIX MY GODDAMN WIDGET OR I WILL DROP UR RATING WHY HASNT MY WIDGET WORKED IN WEEKS

gave me super powers

“Keep going! You can do it.” - This app “I had a dream” - This app “Just do it.” - This app “ And now look again, and see what will naturally follow if the prisoners are released and disabused of their error. At first, when any of them is liberated and compelled suddenly to stand up and turn his neck round and walk and look towards the light, he will suffer sharp pains; the glare will distress him, and he will be unable to see the realities of which in his former state he had seen the shadows; and then conceive some one saying to him, that what he saw before was an illusion, but that now, when he is approaching nearer to being and his eye is turned towards more real existence, he has a clearer vision,—what will be his reply?” - this app “Don’t jump off of the bridge” - This app When I needed it most, this app was there for me. I received notifications telling me to keep going, listening to me when I needed someone to vent to, stroking my hair, telling me sweet nothings. I love it. I want to have sex with it. I am in awe, and forever I will be in its arms.

If everyone had this amazing app, TRULY ALL WARS WOULD END AND HUNGER WOULD BE A THING OF THE PAST. This app cured my mind and helped me get into Harvard

Like any good stuy student, I always want to know what time I must arrive at class, so when this app arrived, I knew it must have been made just for me. I added widgets to every device I could get my hands on. I even installed it on my mom's laptop, which resulted in beatings, but it was worth it. But what I did not expect, was for all of the widgets to show pornography on my phone when school ended. My family wont look at me in the eyes anymore and my friends think I'm a creep. I think I'm being targeted by the developer as nobody else has reported this.

last night my mother nearly died because of a robbery. this kind app crawled out of my phone and pulled out it’s glock-17 to shoot the robber. we are now building a statue on our street in honor of the holy app. تجآجؘح؏ظؼغصعؾعؾغؾكشغؼذؽملللللثتثأأأ؏؆؆؆،؈؊؉؋؍؏ؙؽكنُلنقصعؾػوٹڀ٭ڤګککঐথঙঝঙঔঈ

Dude, you gotta download this app. It legit allows me to travel through space and time. Last night, I gave my soul to this app to experience all the hype. This is a special feature in the app which notifies me when my wife is pregnant (p.s. this is the 5th time I’m having quadruplets!!!!). The app cured my depression, brain cancer and of course, my wife from my life. I highly recommend this app!!!

Thanks to the ppl who made it. It’s ok since I memorized the schedule by now but I guess I can use it next year.