Love School App

It’s been a year since I became a member of Love School. Years had gone by since I got emotionally involved with someone who made me crazy. I thought I had overcome all that. But after fighting cancer for 10 years and being lonely and single I got involved with a Avoidant and it was the perfect storm. After he discarded me I had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual meltdown. I couldn’t eat or sleep. My friends and family were worried about me and I was worried about me. I was in this very dark place. I knew that something was not right and this break up was similar to some in my younger days. I had to find a way out. I started searching online and found this online group. It was a little expensive and I wasn’t sure what would happen but I dived in. Intuitive coaches helped me figure some things out about my attachment style and how early trauma and neglect had a role in me adopting the coping mechanism of disorganized attachment style. I started putting the puzzle together and things started to make sense. I learned what I really valued in myself and others as well as what my boundaries and needs are. I began a journey of acceptance of my kind of crazy as well as learning how to read the red flags that people are presenting to me so that I could be aware of what might trigger me. I forgave Jon as I learned about what causes an avoidant attachment style. Although I forgave him I have been able to maintain “no contact” with him now for over a year. I also have set boundaries for any new relationships. Not only romantic but in friendship and business. When I took my energy back I also found myself again. Sometimes I do ruminate about him but I have been able to set time limits in how long I will indulge thinking about him. This online group with my Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous 12 Step group, along with my VA therapist have brought healing to my life and I learned to be loyal to myself.

I’ve been part of this group for almost 3 months and find it incredibly professional and helpful. The information is profound and the therapists and counselors are brilliant. It’s a combination of reading material, live group sessions, one on one counseling (extra $). You can take a test and find out where you fall in the spectrum of attachment style. Then you go from there. I’m ready to sign up for a year.

Validation is amazing. Knowing that you have a capacity to be anxious in relationships due to an insecurity based on childhood trauma and adult dysfunction is eye opening and then heart opening. I was afraid to love with my whole heart for fear that it would be broken. I’ve learned to be brave and vulnerable in a way I never thought possible. The coursework, the one on one sessions and the community support at Love Addicts all helped me to complete an amazing journey of self reflection and healing I encourage anyone struggling with an anxious attachment to take. The sooner you start, the sooner you heal.